Saying Goodbye To The Homestead

Here we are as newly weds in front of our first home. Andy has been doing a lot of work this week tearing down our homestead so it can be used as a farm field again. It's really sad to see the place that holds so many good memories reduced to an empty pasture, but I guess it's all just part of the moving process.

Before

After

Lately I've been feeling a lot like a pioneer headed west in a covered wagon. "Lighten the load!" is the common cry around here. The trailer can haul ten thousand pounds, but the trailer itself is three thousand, and the van almost 5. Add to that our super heavy freezer, a five-hundred pound claw-foot tub we want to put in our house, and the two thousand pounds of canned goods and you've got a problem. Yesterday I went through a bunch of boxes and we sent two mini-van loads of furniture and odds and ends to the thrift store and a bunch more to the dumpster. It's hard to get rid of stuff we still want, but we are over the weight limit on our trailer so we just can't take it with us.

Surviving Colic

This is Jasmine. 

When Gabe was a baby, he screamed most of the time until he was about four months old, and then things finally got better. We were exhausted. But every baby is different, right? Maybe our next one wouldn't cry so much! And for the first three weeks of Jasmine's life, it looked as though we had gotten our wish - she ate, she looked around, she actually slept! Life was good. But then suddenly she stopped doing those three things and replaced it  with crying. A lot of crying. We tried rocking her. Didn't work. Tried swaddling her. Didn't work. Tried about five different kinds of pacifiers - she screamed on. We tried infant probiotic, tried white noise, tried walks outside, tried tinctures for babies with upset stomachs, tried propping her bed up, tried different positions - nothing worked and I was in tears most of the time trying to take care of Jasmine and keep up with our toddler on a few short hours of sleep. 

We googled Colic. Google should have some tips, right?

"Colic is not a disease or diagnosis but a combination of baffling behaviors. It's really just a catch-all term for problem crying in otherwise healthy babies — the problem being, there’s no solution to it besides the passing of time."

Well perfect. No answers there! So we plowed ahead, doing the best we could from day to day. 

I wasn't sure I even wanted to write about this, because I don't feel like I have any answers to offer. We never did come up with solutions, but we did realize that we never would have made it if it weren't for a few key things.

1. Accept Help

I'm bad about this. I don't like to admit that I can't do it all myself, so I plow ahead  until I'm so worn out I just crash. Thankfully, Andy is very good at noticing when I am getting tired, and he tells me to go take a nap. No protests. Also, my mother-in-law has been great about taking Gabe for a few hours when I couldn't take care of both children at once. It was so nice to know that I could call her up when I needed a break. If you have an available friend or sister, take advantage of it and get some help!

2. Take A Break

We live in a camper. There is absolutely no place to get away from the sound of your baby crying, and that in itself is draining. On the worst days, I just had to get away - go outside and hear DIFFERENT sounds. Just give myself a break from the screaming. Again, if you have others helping you, it makes this a lot more possible. In our small space, even when Andy took care of the children so I could nap, napping was almost impossible with a small baby emitting loud noises approximately ten feet away. Often Andy would bundle the children up and take them both outside to get the noise out of the house.

3. Do The Bare Minimum

Now is not the time to be going to social functions, or trying that new recipe, or diving into a sewing project. Some days, even having a clean house is not a priority. Your baby has got to be first during these hard weeks. And sleep. Sleep definitely ranks up there pretty high. But there is nothing more frustrating than trying to get a lot done when your baby needs held all the time. So ignore the dirty house if you can, eat the simplest meals you can think of, and don't plan on going away much. Get away with doing as little laundry as you can so that when that baby does finally drop from exhaustion for a few minutes, you aren't rushing around trying to get a million things done. Go sleep. A clean house and a hot dinner don't mean much to your husband if he comes home and his wife is an emotional wreck from lack of sleep.

4. Study Your Baby

On the trip to Georgia, we drove our motorhome so I had hours of just holding Jasmine literally all day and not trying to get anything done. I came home from that trip feeling like I knew my baby so much better than before. I highly recommend putting everything aside for a day or two and just studying your baby. I learned that Jasmine needs held upright for a while after feeding her because she has about 4 - 6 burps. For Jasmine, it is very hard to tell if she has a burp or is just sleepy because she acts pretty much the same for both. Before I studied her, I always assumed she was just sleepy and would put her down for a nap. Then she would cry and cry and I would pat her and try to get her to take her pacifier, and we would go around in circles. She wasn't actually ready to sleep, she just needed to be burped. Once I figured that out and made sure she had been burped well before putting her down for a nap she actually started sleeping again. That in turn helped her be awake enough to eat more, and things slowly got better from there.

5. Make A Checklist

Write down a bunch of things to check if your baby is crying. Does the diaper need changed? Does your baby have a burp hurting her belly? Are the clothes too tight? Is she too hot/cold? etc. Try to make sure there isn't an obvious problem causing the crying. Sometimes it helps to just be logical about it.

6. Show Care

If you have gone through your checklist and have not found any problems that could be causing the crying, there isn't much you can do. Andy always said, "Just make sure Jasmine knows we love her." Sometimes hard to do when you are fed up with your screaming infant and frustrated that you can't find anything to fix, but your baby needs to know you care and are there for them even if you can't seem to fix the problem.

7. Lean On God

Nothing makes me as dependent on God as when I absolutely can't do it on my own. In that way I am thankful for the rough times we have had with Jasmine because they make me realize my need for Someone bigger than me. So when you are rocking that baby, pray. Often for me, talking it out to God really helps my perspective. Plus, when I pray it shifts everything back into focus and makes me realize I'm not alone. That in itself can be a life saver during the rough moments.

Lastly, hang in there. This too shall pass, although when you are going through it that seems unlikely. 

Jasmine is now eight weeks old, and doing better. She definitely has bad days still, but the good days are slowly becoming more common. She doesn't have nearly as many times in the day where she cries for seemingly no reason whatsoever. 

Being a second-time parent is making me humble. When we only had Gabe, I thought, What is the big deal? We can do pretty much everything we could before we had a child, and it doesn't slow us down much. Why are people always so BUSY when they have children? But now I know. I don't get much done most days and try my hardest not to leave the house unless I absolutely have to. The thought of grocery shopping with a toddler and a screaming infant terrifies me. So yes, I am learning through experience to extend grace to other parents. Having children can be rough.

I look back and I'm not exactly sure how we lived through these last five weeks with the trip to Georgia and moving on top of a colicky baby, but we did somehow. It's doable one day at a time with God's grace.

P.S. All the pictures except the last one were taken before Jasmine was three weeks old, because, if you hadn't noticed, she is sleeping and looking happy. :)

Home Sweet Motorhome

Here is my kitchen. (Yes, I did clean up a bit before the pic - it's not normally this clean. :))

As you can see, it is small. Really small. There is hardly any counter-top space to work on. So I set out to fix the problem. When my sister Joanna was here she helped me finish making the shelf I had started. We attached it with hinges and a small chain which gives it a cool look while also adding support.

Then I decided it needed some Stain/Poly on it so it would be wipe-able. So back off it came.

And three coats of Poly later the shelf is re-installed and I am loving my extra kitchen space. If you don't like it, fix it!

 The shelf even hooks up so the slide-out can come in during travel. I like it!

Free Help

Sisters are awesome. I should know. I have four of them. Only my oldest sister is married besides me, so the others are often able to come for a visit and help with the various projects we have going. It's free help along with good conversation, and I love it! My sister Joanna is here right now and with her help we have been getting a lot done toward our move to Alaska.
First we got the freezers sorted. I have two small chest freezers and have been hoarding the meat and frozen fruit we have to take up to Alaska with us. So Joanna and I filled one freezer to take to AK, and the food that is left in the other freezer we will eat up before we move.
Joanna also helped me get my canned goods ready to go. My mother-in-law let me use some shelves in her cellar for food storage, so I put up a lot of food last summer to take with us on our move - provided we can get it through Canada. I have 84 qt. of green beans, 35 qt. of sweet potatoes, 20 qt. of potatoes, 49 qt. of blackberry juice, 30 qt. grape juice, 32 qt. of corn, 65 qt. of tomato juice, 15 qt. broth, and 8 qt. of chicken. I also canned some salsa, soups, tea concentrate, apple pie filling, and apple butter, plus a bunch of sausage we got from butchering a pig.
It is so much, and so heavy, that Andy is starting to worry about weight. Our trailer has a weight limit of 10,000 lbs, and if your entire rig gets over 26,000 lbs, you have to have a CDL to drive it. Since neither of us have a CDL license, we might just start using some of those canned goods now so we don't have to haul them all to AK with us. The weight of the canned goods comes to around 1,800 pounds.
So Joanna helped me wipe all the jars off and haul them up from the cellar - no little job as the boxes weigh 30 - 50 lbs each. I don't know how I would have gotten that done by myself, even with my mother-in-law babysitting Gabe and Jasmine for me.
Yesterday we took supplies up to the camper and cleaned it thoroughly to get it ready to sell. When we were finished I looked around and got a little teary at how bare and empty our first home looked. We can't take it with us to Alaska though, so it has to be sold. Here are some of the pictures I took for Craigslist.

So in a word, I am super thankful to have sisters that come visit me and don't mind me putting them to work. Joanna is a great help with the children, too. 

How To Stay Sane While Living Small

DON'T HAVE MUCH STUFF. 

That is the easy answer, but sometimes hard in the practicalities of life. But I'll tell you about a few things that made living in a camper much more simple and doable for us.

1. Have A Place To Store Extra's

There will always be stuff that you want to keep even though it doesn't fit into your tiny house. For us the thought of having a bigger house someday made us keep some stuff that we wouldn't have held onto otherwise. If you have things you want to keep, but don't use very often, by all means, PUT IT IN STORAGE! It will leave your inside space feeling so much more clean and roomy, while still allowing you to hold onto some of those things you don't want to get rid of. For us, we had a small storage shed that we used to store our camping gear, dog food, tools, and some books and children's clothing that we didn't have room to keep in the camper. This is huge. If you try to fit everything into your small house it will soon feel cluttered, un-managed, and just plain messy. And messy in a small space can quickly drive you nuts!

2. Have What You Use

Go through cupboards and closets at least once every six months (more if you can manage it!) and throw away or put in storage the things you don't use very often. Don't keep your dressers full of stuff you don't need for daily living.

3. Don't Buy An Item Unless You Have A Place To Store It

Confession; I don't do very well on this one. Bigger stuff, yes, you have to think it through because there is simply not much extra room in a camper. But little stuff? eehhh. Clothes are especially hard because they take so little space, but they do tend to pile up, and you have to go through them more often and weed out those that you aren't wearing.

4. Maximize The Space You Have

I love this one. Use hooks! Not only can you make things look very cozy and cabin-like, hooks on the walls can store a lot more besides coats. I have all my pans on hooks here in the motorhome, and I just love it. 

You can also use the wall space well by putting up magnetic strips and using those or pin boards to catch stray papers you want to keep, or reminders to yourself. 

Mirrors maximize a small space by making it feel larger than it really is.

I like using tubs or baskets to keep stuff contained, accessable, and neat.

5. Keep A Clear Surface Or Two

It is pretty essential for me to keep my counters and table cleaned off. If stuff piles up until I have no empty places, soon my brain starts to feel cluttered too, the walls feel like they are closing in, and there is no room to move. So for the sake of my sanity I have learned to keep things put away. And if there are things like dishes sitting on the counter, I get it dried and in the cupboard as soon as I can.

In a small space nothing opens it up like being able to see an empty surface or two. It keeps your home from having that "too full" feeling.

6. Minimize Toys

If you are a parent, chances are you fight the toy battle just like we do. Toys tend to pile up. Whether they come to you as gifts, or freebies, or that awesome deal you just couldn't resist. the fact remains. Soon toys get scattered all over the house by those little, pattering, (BUSY!) feet. If you have a big house, especially one with a toy room, this isn't a very big deal. But in a tiny house it IS a big deal. We soon found that we couldn't have very many toys around or else we couldn't walk in our house. So I sorted the toys into two boxes, and we put one into storage. Once a month or so, I trade toy boxes, and Gabe is thrilled to play with his "new" toys.

But honestly, children don't need that many toys. Just recently we cut some extra foam off the pad on our mattress and Gabe played happily with it all morning. It was first a scarf, then a bridge, and finally a truck. Imagination thrives where there aren't many toys to play with.

7. Learn To Get Along

Your relationships with the people who share your tiny house are Very Important. Small spaces are stressful to relationships. When Andy and I moved into the camper, there were only two of us, and we were (and still are) very much in love. Even so, we found that we could easily get frustrated with each other with the obstacles that tiny living brings. We learned that you have to be polite to each other. When you can't get around each other in the kitchen without someone moving to the side, you learn fast that you either get annoyed, or you just say excuse me and wait till the other person lets you past. That politeness and deference to the other person is something that I'm really glad the camper taught us. 

Andy read over this blog so far, and when asked what he would add, he said, "Be in love." It's true. You sure don't need much space when you love the person you live with. :)

Home Is Where Your Stuff Is

This week we moved from the camper into the motorhome. On Monday I started moving things over, and even though we don't have tons of stuff, by evening I was only about half done. That was frustrating because neither place had everything we needed to live. Tuesday we got the rest moved over, and I told Andy, 'You know, home is where the people are, but it's also where your stuff is!' It's true! The motorhome didn't feel like home until we were all moved in, and now that the camper is empty, it is only a shell full of memories. I feel like I haven't had time to completely process leaving our old home, but Andy put it very well in an email he wrote.

I went up to the empty shell of our house and said goodbye for a while. It was as if I could hear Gabe squealing in delight as I chased him again, and the joyous moments of our first home as newlyweds, and all the good memories that we made. It's like Tabitha said, "We'll never have our first home as newlyweds again." A profound statement, and one worth pondering and feeling over. It struck me that while we are happy to go make new memories, we need to cherish the memories of the past and the joy of our happiest moments. We have been there for three years, and they have been happy years. We've had a large garden, I've had to keep after the camper's maintenance needs, and we have had a lot of secluded happiness up there where where we started our married life. Gabe started his life there and started walking. We started our marriage there and got a good foundation laid. Jasmine came into the world and called that her first home. May our next home be just as happy, fulfilling, and good as the humble little camper that we have so many good memories in. God has blessed us abundantly there, and if he continues to bless us, as I'm sure He will, we have nothing to fear and everything to gain.

Andy

I think that pretty much sums it up. As excited about moving to Alaska as we are, there is also some sadness over what we are leaving behind.

Life At 65 mph

Traveling in a motorhome is a wonderful way to do a road trip. We are now on our way back from picking up our trailer in southern Georgia and have acclimated ourselves to walking around in here while on the road. Gabe has better sea legs than I do and has been having fun playing with his toys and running the length of the motorhome. I don't have as good a sense of balance as he does, but last evening I was able to cook us a hot supper while on the move. Granted, it was just Mac and Cheese, but it sure was great to eat hot food again after lots of snacks and pb & j sandwiches. 

Here is Andy with our rig.

The first night we parked at a Walmart, and the second we were in with the big rigs at a Flying J Gas Station. It sure is great to have a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen on the road. We feel pretty self sufficient when we can park any old where and have everything we need in our tiny house. 

Being down south brings back nostalgic memories of when I lived in South Carolina for a year before Andy and I got married. I had forgotten how there are Pit BBQ's everywhere and how the dirt is so red. People use crushed shells instead of gravel on their driveways down here, and there are miles and miles of tree farms for telephone poles and paper.

Here are Gabe and I at the table having some scones for breakfast while Andy drove.

We are so thankful that God kept us safe on this trip and we were able to get the trailer with no trouble. It's been good to test drive our rig without having a lot of weight in the trailer.

The Past, The Present, And Some In Between

When Andy and I got married we were both coming out of VS work, and were "poor as church mice". Having strong convictions about not going into debt, and not wanting to rent, we thought outside the box and did the thing our limited funds could afford - we bought a 1988 35-foot camper and called it home. Since Andy had a job on his parent's organic crop farm, his dad was nice enough to give us a back pasture to park in and consider it part of Andy's pay.
So in April of 2014 we moved in, and there we have been ever since, saving up to have our own place someday.
Two children and three years later we got tired of the high housing/land prices in our area of PA, and did something that convinced our family we really are quite crazy - we bought 18 acres in Alaska! And why not? Land is cheap, we loved it when we were there in 2015, and it feels like you are living in a gorgeous postcard. Add to that the fact that our place on the Kenai Peninsula is only 2 miles from the ocean, and you've got a real winner. The only downside is being so far away from family, but we haven't given up trying to convince them to come for a visit, or better yet, catch the Alaska fever and move up with us! So far no one has consented to move, but where there's life, there's hope!
Last week we got a 1998 Class C motorhome, and are now test driving it down to Georgia to pick up a 24 foot enclosed trailer to complete our moving rig. The plan is to haul our freezer, tools and mini van in the trailer, and live in the motorhome until we get our cabin built. Bring it on!